Question
Have you ever been invited to a friend’s house in Spain and they charged you for the dinner/BBQ afterwards? Is this normal when you are Living in Spain?
Just wondering about your experiences. I live in Spain, and I’ve had some good friends for years, that I hang out with often. Two of them are dating, and just moved in together, so they decided to host a BBQ at their place last weekend. My husband and I had that couple (and many other people) over at our place 3x this year for a BBQ, and I’ve never thought about charging anyone for the BBQ. For me it’s like, if you decide to host and have people at your house, then you pay for the food (not necessarily the drinks, everyone can bring drinks).
So we had the BBQ last weekend at their place, and then afterwards in the group chat the couple was like ‘ok so the bill for everything came out to $22 per person, here are my bank details’. I was pretty surprised tbh. There were only like 7 total guests at the BBQ. Is this normal in Spain? The couple is Spanish-Swedish. I feel like this is very weird, especially since I’ve invited them for a BBQ literally 3x this year. They’re in their mid thirties, no kids, full-time jobs, def not poor. Just wondering if this is normal I guess, because I’ve been thinking about bringing this up to them. Thanks
Answers
These are the answers from Spainguru’s Facebook group members:
“Is the Spanish person from Cataluña? 🤣🤣 we have a joke in Spain that they are cheap (I’m sure not all of them) definitely not common at all. I wouldn’t pay unless they told me beforehand I had to, let them chase you 😜”
“My spouse is Catalán & family…never had this happen at all. In Barcelona with Catalán friends they invite us over & we don’t pay anything. Sometimes when we go out we split bill or just pay for what we ordered but many times we buy for each other.”
“Maybe is the Swedish that are cheap? Who knows! 🤷♀️🤦♀️😜”
“Yes, my Swedish side of family & friends do this!”
“Applies to Germans as well. As for the Spanish, so far I have noticed that they mostly include their families in such events, so I would not argue they would behave differently,,,they just don’t get the chance to show their true faces out of family and family approved friends. 😅🤭”
“I lived in Germany for approx 20 years and never once was asked to share a bill when invited to a home or event. As for your perspective of Spaniards, what in the world does that even mean? I suddenly feel this is not an adult conversation.”
“Nope, absolutely normal. The spanish are like that. I live in the center of spain and have never been to a spanish gathering (that hasn’t been close family) that hasn’t asked to split the bill”
“At restaurants, yes. In people’s homes? Never, unless that was the agreement beforehand, and even that would be rare. In my experience.”
“My 25 years of living here have shown me otherwise. My partners family even does it for holiday gatherings.”
“In 42 years of living in Spain off and on (in Madrid, Aranjuez and Segovia), this has only happened at Thanksgiving potluck (American wives, Spanish husbands) to cover the cost of the turkeys.”
“We must be living in parallel universes indeed, because I have never had that happen, except when it´s a large group and it is discussed beforehand.”
“The only time I have ever heard of splitting anything is if we eat out or if we go out to a picnic site on the hills. Spanish people are generally very inviting and accommodating. It is polite to ask what to bring or just bring good wine , beer or a good cut of Jamon Serrano if you want to be invited again 🤔”
“OMG, I find it it disrespectful and offensive. I don’t think anyone would do that in Spain. When you are invited, you are invited. That is what is included in an invitation. It would be a different matter if one says: Should we prepare a BBQ ? That would leave it open to maybe sharing the bill but it would be mentioned before hand.”
“My Spanish friends do this unless it’s a pot luck situation. If one person is buying all the food the bill usually gets split up. Usually like 10euros per person, not 22. But it’s never a surprise, we agree that if one person is providing the food everyone chips in. Otherwise we agree beforehand what everyone is bringing.”
“My Spanish friend invited me and my family to go to their friends house for a barbecue. But they did let me know in advance that every person was gonna be responsible to pay a certain amount for the food. I know sometimes they’ll either tell you an amount like it’s 30€ a person or they let you know that there will be an amount that you will be responsible to pay for you and your family, but that the amount exactly would be figured out later.”
“I grew up in Sweden. This is one of the most annoying things with the Swedish culture. People nickel and dime everything! I was raised in Sweden in an Iranian household. Iranians are very generous. So the Swedish society was very bizarre in that sense to me.”
“Definitely not the Spanish side. When we go out with Spanish friends, there’s a fight at the end as to who gets to pay for everything. We now even sneak to the bathroom near the end then detour secretly to the waiter so we can take care of the bill.”
“Sounds more Swedish than Spanish.”
“Spaniards are very classy people. It is against their culture to charge you when they have invited you.”
“Not Spanish. Never ever heard of this. Are they both from Spain?”
“I would at least tell them this is not appropriate to send people a bill for the food at a BBQ. And while it may be common in Sweden it’s not appropriate here. Next remind them of the expenses you paid for the 3 separate dinners you hosted and they came to, all for ‘no charge’.”
“I’ve lived here for 12 years and have never seen or heard of this (and I have been to countless similar events). There have been times when I was told up front: ‘BBQ – €15 per person’ for example. But never have I been INVITED and then asked to pay afterwards with no warning.”
“Spaniard here. It’s very normal among younger people. While some items are brought potluck style like everyone brings something to drink, or someone picks up the dessert… if one person is in charge of the most expensive item (typically meat for several people) they will calculate the total based on the number of people. It’s common as a guest to ask- a cuánto ha salido todo? Que se debe de la carne? Also in the planning, they might say ‘yo me encargo de comprar y luego os digo cuánto ha sido’. Again, this is common among people maybe 15-30.”
“I’m Swedish and this is NOT custom in sweden. I would never do this nor anyone I know!”
“I’ve lived in Spain for 9 years, and I have NEVER had this experience. We always bring something like wine, dessert, or flowers as a thank you for hosting, but money has never been requested for the food 😂. Very strange.”
“Never got charged for any dinner or lunch invitation. This is not normal in Spain.”
“Have never in my life heard of this with a Spaniard, never.”
Conclusion
The majority of Spainguru community members agree that being asked to pay after attending a BBQ at someone’s home in Spain is not a normal Spanish custom. In Spanish culture, hosting usually means covering the cost, while guests often bring wine, desserts, or small contributions voluntarily.
Several contributors pointed out that this practice may reflect Swedish or Northern European customs, where sharing costs after a gathering is more common. Others noted that in Spain cost-sharing sometimes happens among younger groups or for large, pre-arranged events, but it is always discussed beforehand.
Some members also mentioned that it is not unusual for hosts to let guests know in advance if costs will be shared, or for guests to politely ask whether they should contribute to the purchase of food or drinks. This way, expectations are clear and no one feels uncomfortable after the gathering.
Overall, when living in Spain, it is safe to assume that invitations to private homes generally (but not always) mean the host pays. If cost-sharing is expected, it should be clearly stated before the event. This article is based on personal opinions from the Spainguru community.
FAQs
Are there situations in Spain where cost-sharing at private events is considered acceptable?
Yes, among younger groups or for large, pre-arranged events, cost-sharing can occur in Spain, but it is always discussed before the event to set clear expectations and avoid misunderstandings.
Why do some people in Spain or other Northern European countries ask guests to contribute financially after a gathering?
This practice is more common in Northern European countries like Sweden, where sharing costs after social events is a customary practice. In Spain, however, this is not typical unless it is explicitly agreed upon beforehand.
Is it customary in Spain for guests to pay for dinner or BBQ after an invitation?
No, it is generally not customary in Spain for guests to pay after being invited to a dinner or BBQ at someone’s home. Usually, the host covers the expenses, and guests often bring wine, desserts, or small contributions voluntarily.
